i tried.

“

and i took the blade
and for each slash against my skin
i wrote another line of poetry
dedicated to you and the heart
you so vicariously broke

1. for allowing me to believe that love exists in the most unexpected places

2. for making me trust you despite my heart & head’s protests

3. for holding my hand too tightly

4. for stifling my thoughts and my words, i was a flame and you were the absence of oxygen

5. for looking at me with empty eyes & saying ‘I love you’

6. for using the same eyes with your cheek pressed against mine to say ‘I’m leaving you’

7. for showing your true colors; I liked you more when you were someone hiding behind the watercolor of a good man

8. for taking a part of my heart with you
and trust
and hope
and faith
and optimism
and stomach
and air supply
because now I am bitter and short on breath

9. for making my eyes stick to an exit sign at the first sign of smoke

and lastly

10. for allowing me to burn even more brightly with you gone

because lines of poetry will express more than a cut against my thigh ever will

this poem will never be a ‘thank you’ poem

it’s a ‘fuck you’ poem
but you don’t understand poetry
so I’ll allow the world to fuck you over instead

”